On trying something new

I’m in need of something new. New in this case meaning, stop coming home from work and taking a nap til it’s too late to actually do something with my evening.

If you happened to keep up with my Getting Healthy posts, you know that I have been struggling a lot lately. I’m not sure what’s wrong, and therefore don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know much about psychology or depression or anything like that, but from what I’ve heard I think my naps at four in the afternoon everyday, and my emotional instability may be somewhat related. After yet another mental breakdown, I’m finally taking a few different steps to figuring it out. I say a few different because I’m unsure of what is going to work, so I figure at this point I’m best to try whatever I can.

Step 1 - Tonight I’m going to my very first therapist appointment. I have no idea what to expect, and I’m scared shitless. I’m not really scared of talking, because I’m usually pretty good at that, but I’m more scared of not knowing where to start. I don’t usually get very detailed on this here blog, because I don’t want to seem like I’m complaining. In real time, however, my life is sort of in shambles. I could talk about my dad, my mom, my step-mom, my friends, my fake-friends, the fact that I really don’t have any friends, or the fact that I hyperventilate at the thought of losing my boyfriend, when he gives me nothing but love, affection, and the verbal promise to always and forever be mine. (It’s the verbal part that throws me off, of course. I’m more of a “show me” kind of girl.) I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this lady can help me straighten my shit out.

Step 2 – I’m going to Vegas. This trip is so far out of my comfort zone it’s incredible, as I’m terrible at doing things on my own, and I’m terrible at doing things for myself. This trip is going to be one of self-discovery at a time in my life when I need it the most. This trip is going to be full of new people, new places, and new feelings toward who I believe myself to be. This trip is going to be life-changing.

Step 3 - I’m taking an online photography class through Big Picture Scrapbooking. I figure the best way to get me out of bed is to give me something better to do with my time. Something that I actually want to be doing, rather than something I feel like I should be doing (aka the gym). At this point, if it keeps me from napping, I’ll try it!

Step 4 - Stratejoy is a program designed to help you find you. The you that you want to be, rather than the you that you have maybe become over the years. Since I’m pretty sure this emotional stir-crazy that I’ve developed is what I would consider a “quarter-life crisis”, I’m excited to try this program to get out of it! After reading Molly’s “Gutsy Girl’s Guide to Success” it only took one line to hook me.

“If you stripped down to the very base of yourself – if

we took away your job, your bank account, your

schooling, your relationship status – who would you

be?”

When I didn’t have an answer to that question, I knew it was time to make a change.

You should all definitely check it out, and let me know if you decide to partake also. I plan to start June 1st, after Vegas and my birthday, so I can focus 100% on making my life better! I can’t wait to see if it works as well for me as it has for others!

So that’s that. My four step plan to happiness, at least for the time being. I may have high expectations for the coming weeks, but I’d rather try and fail than stay where I am right now. I can’t be in this place anymore, and I’m finally taking a chance at moving forward.